Don't Try To Run, You'll Trip
by AsinineIgnoramus
Summary: Draco is caught trying to steal a priceless magical artifact.  For his punishment, he is sent to live and work with a forest ranger at Yellowstone National Park.  This ranger is not what he expected though.  Draco/OC NOT SLASH!


**Hey! AsinineIgnoramus, here! This story is about Draco getting into big trouble, and the consequences of such. Reviews are welcome, but no flames please!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, any of the Malfoys, or Fudge. I make no money from this.**

**Enjoy!**

**Ω∞Ω**

(Canon until beginning of summer, Fifth Year)

Chapter One: The Verdict

Draco glared at the Aurors across from him. They looked back calmly.

They were in a small room. There was a table between them, and three chairs were in the room as well. Draco was in one. Handcuffed to it, actually. The Aurors were in the other two chairs.

Draco looked from one Auror to the other. He assumed they were twins, because he couldn't tell the difference between them.

'_They look exactly alike,' _Draco thought. _'Wait! Does the one on the right have a mole on his chin? No, it's just a piece of…chocolate. That doesn't even make sense! Why would an Auror have a piece of chocolate on his face?'_

Draco glared especially hard at Chocolate-Chin. The man didn't respond.

~~000~~

Cornelius looked at the blonde boy through the one-way wall.

'_I love how ingenious Americans are. They took the idea of a one-way mirror from Muggles, and improved it! Before, you could tell where the authorities were watching you from. Now, any of the walls could be one-way. It's so efficient! Wait! What am I doing? I'm thinking about American inventions when I should be thinking about—'_

He heard the door to the room open. He turned, expecting the sheriff to walk through the door. Instead, he saw the last two people he wanted to see.

Lucius and Narcissa stalked over to the Minister with murder in their eyes.

"Cornelius, dear," Narcissa began, deceptively sweet, "would you care to explain?"

Cornelius swallowed. While Lucius was frightening when angered, Narcissa was beyond that. He didn't think there was a word, in any language, to describe the amount of fear a person felt when Narcissa Malfoy looked at them with such anger.

"Explain what, my dear Mrs. Malfoy?" Cornelius managed to ask. He knew it wasn't wise to avoid the subject, but he couldn't help it. He _really_ didn't want to have this discussion.

"Why my son is in a bloody Muggle prison!" Lucius roared. Cornelius was glad the interrogation room had a Silencing Charm on it.

"Lucius, please remain—" the Minister began feebly.

"Do NOT tell me to remain calm!" the blonde man hissed.

"Minister, I demand an explanation," Narcissa said angrily, false sweetness gone. "Draco is a wizard. NOT some filthy, barbaric Muggle curr! Whatever Draco has done, if he did anything at all, should warrant a wizarding prison."

Cornelius took a deep breath and began as calmly and confidently as he could.

"Lucius. Narcissa. Young mister Malfoy was caught trying to steal a priceless diamond necklace from a museum. It was the Muggle police that caught him. To be honest, the only reason any of us wizards know is because Sheriff Jones is a Squib. He recognized Draco from an issue of an American wizarding paper and contacted me."

"That still doesn't explain why he's still in here!" Lucius snarled.

"He's still in here because we're in America, in case you haven't noticed! I have virtually no authority here," Cornelius snapped back.

"I don't care _where_ he is! Just get my son out of there!" Lucius shouted, pointing at the room Draco and the Aurors were in.

"I _can't,_ Lucius! The most I can do is make sure that he doesn't end up in a Muggle prison!"

"Cornelius Fudge, if you don't get my son out of this, so help me, I will send you to St. Mungo's for a year!" Narcissa said with fury.

Cornelius opened his mouth to say _something_, when the door opened, and Sheriff Jones walked in.

"Sheriff Jones! Please explain to Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy why I can't do anything to help their son!"

Jones looked at the three angry wizards and sighed.

"Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, would you please come with me?"

~~000~~

Draco glared at Chocolate-Chin. He'd been glaring at the two of them for a while now. They never responded. Except for the one time, when Draco had glared _really_ hard, the twin with the clean face had blinked.

He assumed that talking might get a reaction, but he was determined not to do so. He wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

So he continued glaring.

~~000~~

Samuel and Andrew Everwood hadn't expected to be called to a small New York City police station in the middle of the night. But they assumed that a Death Eater had been caught, and they were to escort them to a more secure facility.

When they arrived, however, they found out that a young wizard had been caught stealing a necklace from a museum. And _they_ were supposed to babysit the brat, while the American Council of Wizards debated what to do.

So now they were sitting in a small room across from a very angry teenager that looked a _lot_ like Draco Malfoy.

Samuel reached into his mind and found the thread that linked his mind to his brother's. Unlike Muggle twins, wizarding twins had a natural link that could allow them to communicate mentally after years of practice, and after studying Legilimancy and Occlemancy. The ability had come in handy several times. Like now, when Samuel was bored out of his mind.

_Andrew. Is it just me, or does this kid look like Draco Malfoy?_

_It's not just you. He does look like him._

Samuel thought about that before answering.

_Do you think it might _actually_ be Malfoy?_

_Samuel, that is just about the most ridiculous thing you have ever thought,_ Andrew thought with a mental laugh.

_No, think about it! The Malfoys have had a history of thieving for centuries. And they caught this kid stealing. It's the beginning of summer vacation for wizarding schools. Kid's young enough to go to Hogwarts. A _wizarding_ school. And he's pale, and platinum blonde._

Andrew mentally sighed. _Sam, why would a kid that probably gets a million galleons a week for his allowance bother trying to steal a diamond necklace? And why would said kid be in America? Malfoy's British._

_I know he's British, Andrew. And he might be trying to steal it for fun. Remember that witch that would go around stealing people's cats? She stole for fun._

_Sam, that lady was crazy! She doesn't count! And anyone that steals for fun, is crazy!_

_Well, considering this kid's been glaring at us for as hour, he just might be crazy, _Sam reasoned.

You're_ crazy, Sam,_ Andrew teased.

Sam resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

The two brothers were silent for a while. But boredom soon began to creep back. This time, Andrew started the conversation.

_You could be right though._

_What? Right about what?_

_Sam, you know very well what I mean. I'm saying that this kid just might be Draco Malfoy._

_Do you think we should ask him?_

_No! That would be bad! We don't want him to think of us as friendly. We're just here to make sure he doesn't try anything._

_Oh, fine._

~~000~~

Orson Daniels sat at the table with the rest of the Council. He had remained silent throughout most of the proceedings. The case of Draco Malfoy trying to steal the Necklace of Grizelda was very controversial. Some of the Council wanted to give Malfoy over to the Ministry of Magic for punishment. Others wanted to send him to Alcatraz, America's version of Azkaban.

Orson didn't want to do any of that. Neither was very good for Malfoy, and they didn't want to do anything that might push him towards wanting revenge. After all, the Malfoys had a reputation for holding grudges.

"Ingrate! The boy should be sent to Alcatraz! He's a wizard trying to steal from a Muggle museum! At fifteen he should be mature enough to—"

"Why are we even talking about this? Couldn't a normal wizarding court take care of this?"

"We're taking care of it because the Necklace of Grizelda is a magical artifact. And Malfoy's too good a thief if he almost got away with the crime."

"Wait? The Necklace is magical? Then why is it in a Muggle museum?"

"A Muggle private collector donated it for a month."

"Oh, just give him to the Ministry. He shouldn't even be our problem."

"He's in America. He's our responsibility."

"Hogwash! Send 'im back to Europe! We don' need 'im!"

"And risk the Ministry letting him go? Not in your lifetime! Alcatraz is the place for mongrels like him!"

"Why does it matter? It's not like he was trying to steal from a wizard museum. Just let the boy go. No harm, no foul, right?"

"Idiot! The boy _must_ be sent to Alcatraz for his crime!"

"Again, why are we talking about this?"

Orson leaned over to Stella Brown and whispered, "You want the truth? We're talking about this for political reasons none of us even understand. And we're the ones discussing it!"

Brown looked thoughtful for a moment before she said, "Oh. Well no one understands politics. But it must be important if that's the reason!" and turned back to the discussion.

He pressed his palms to the sides of his head, trying to stop the migraine that was headed his way.

'_I can't believe these people. They only care about politics and themselves. If Judd was here, he'd bash their heads together and somehow make them see sense.'_

Then it hit him. A solution to the problem.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Calm down! I would like your full attention!" he called out.

The Council stopped talking and looked at Orson with surprise. He didn't usually talk much, if at all during sessions.

"Yes, Daniels? Our attention is on you. What is it?"

"What if," Orson began with a smile, "I could tell you that I know how to punish Malfoy? Without sending him to Alcatraz for an excessive punishment, _or_ handing him to the Ministry."

The Council looked around at each other.

"We're listening."

~~000~~

Draco's eyes hurt. His throat hurt. His forehead hurt. His entire body hurt.

Glaring at the Aurors for hours on end was making his face ache. His muscles weren't used to such effort. And he was parched. Draco knew that if he tried to talk, his voice would sound like the voice of a sphinx that just ate a troll. And after being in the same position for hours, his limbs were almost numb.

And to his extreme irritation, both Aurors looked perfectly fine.

'_Do they even know how long we've been here?'_ Draco thought, _'I can't believe that except for blinking and breathing, they haven't moved _once._ Although I must say, American Aurors seem to be better trained than the Ministry's Aurors.'_

Chocolate-Chin blinked slowly. Exactly three seconds later, the other Auror also blinked, just as slowly.

'_I'm going to go insane,'_ Draco mentally moaned.

Suddenly, the door on Draco's left swung open, letting the Muggle that arrested him into the room.

The man looked at the Aurors and nodded at them. They nodded in return. Draco was almost stunned at the movement, they had been so still for so long.

"Sheriff," Chocolate-Chin said.

"Aurors."

Draco looked at the man. He knew that the two men were Aurors. How did he know that? Draco knew that the Council was far stricter about revealing magic to Muggles than the Ministry. So how did he _know?_

The 'sheriff' turned to Draco and frowned.

"We've been given your verdict, boy," he said coldly.

Draco was suddenly afraid. What was going to happen to him? He didn't want to go to Alcatraz. He'd heard that the old Muggle prison had been turned into a wizarding one, using magic to shield it from Muggle tourists. But he also didn't want to be handed over to the Ministry.

He swallowed nervously, but he kept his face a mask of anger.

The sheriff looked at him with ice in his eyes.

"The Council has generously decided not to send you to Alcatraz," the man stated.

Draco blinked. This Muggle knew about the Aurors, the Council _and_ Alcatraz! _Who was he?_

"So I can presume I am being handed over to the Ministry," Draco spat, covering his surprise.

To Draco's shock, the man grinned at him. It was not a friendly look. He found himself looking at the Aurors, making sure they were still there, and could be witnesses if thing turned ugly.

"Oh, no. We're not giving you to the Ministry. They might just pardon you and let you get away without punishment. No, we're going to implement our authority and give you a very _unique_ punishment."

"Unique in what way?"

"We are going to send you to Yellowstone National Park. There, you will be given to the custody of a ranger. This ranger will be your jailor and chaperone for a while."

" 'A while'? How long is 'a while'?" Draco protested.

"A lot longer than you think."

**Ω∞Ω**

**I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my story. I'm so mean to Draco, aren't I? If you don't think so, just wait! I'm really mean later! Anyway, I'd love anything you have to say, as long as it's not flames. And the Alcatraz being the American version of Azkaban is an idea inspired by some things in Michael Scott's **_**'The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel'**_** series. So don't try to strangle me through the computer for it.**


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